Pretty Old Things (The Roadshow State)
At various times in my life, I have:
Stood in a Salvation Army in Jersey City scratching my head, wondering how I would be getting the spinet piano that I just paid $50 for into my 2nd story walkup.
Rolled a cable spool down Avenue A, all the way to my apartment on the Lower East Side, starting at 15th street, because I thought it would make a great table. Did I mention it was 2am?
And more famously, I started a company that made all kinds of furniture, including tables for over 200 Shake Shacks worldwide, exclusively from reclaimed bowling lanes.
I am among the humans for whom a wide array of things are seen as treasures, not trash. And as a lover of old finds and a good story, I have enjoyed watching the Antiques Roadshow on PBS for a very long time.
But, of course, it’s not just the stuff that makes the Antiques Roadshow timeless (even when it’s dated—in every sense of the word); it’s the people and the stories they tell. Over the years, as I’ve evolved as a songwriter, I’ve found that it’s the story songs that often connect with people the most. Those are the songs that seem to stand up over time.
One night, not too long ago, as I contemplated the state of our country and the vitriol that’s endlessly being stoked by pundits and politicians for ego and profit, I found myself flipping on the old Roadshow to escape my negative thoughts. It worked. Almost instantly. But along with the escapism, it gave me an insight that prompted me to write a song. So I did.
The song features examples of things that people bring to the Roadshow, along with the various states they’ve broadcast from. (They’ve hit all 50, if you’re wondering.) I mixed a lot of the stuff and states together so if you’re looking for an accurate document of the show, you won’t find it here. But, hopefully you will feel what I found. Which is that people, no matter their race, economic status, religious or political affiliation, or age, have more in common than the news or social media channels want you to believe.
The lyrics are below, and you can see a live performance of the song here. It will also be on my upcoming album, Malone Along Green.
Pretty Old Things (The Roadshow State)
If we could all get together
At the antiques road show
And tell all the stories
Of the things that we own
Forget what divides us
And leads us to hate
And just have a good time
In the road show state
A necklace from India
Right here in Des Moines
A tea pot from China
And a rare Scottish coin
Native pottery in Raleigh
And a Civil War gun
What could be
Any more fun
A Swiss watch in Santa Fe
A Tiffany lamp
A late 30’s Gibson guitar with an amp
Cracker Jack baseball cards
Scrimshaw in Maine
This old cowboy hat
Was worn by John Wayne
So let’s all get together
At the antiques road show
And tell all the stories
Of the things that we own
Forget what divides us
And leads us to hate
And just have a good time
In the road show state
This statue from Paris
I’ve had half my life
It's really from Cleveland
But don’t tell my wife
These two dolls from Ghana
Will help you give birth
Right here in Green Bay
Do you know what it’s worth
Do you have any idea what it’s worth
In a retail setting, for insurance purposes
I would feel very comfortable placing a value
At auction…in today’s market…
Of priceless
Priceless
Priceless
So let’s all get together
At the antiques road show
And tell all the stories
Of the things that we own
Forget what divides us
And leads us to hate
And just have a good time
In the road show state
